Paroma
City-dwellers were in love with the rustic charms of this sleepy little town situated next to the riverbank. They were always looking forward toward extended weekends to drive down here from cities that had forgotten how to sleep. And every single time, the little town magically expanded her heart and embraced the visitors. She showered them with her clean, life-affirming air and water, her simple homely comforts and abundant warmth, replenishing their hearts and rejuvenating their souls. Repaired and rehabilitated, the city-dwellers went back to their homes and, like possessive lovers, kept their beloved beauty hidden from the prying eyes of the world.
Like all long-held secrets that eventually are forced out of the closet and cause an explosion; this too came into the public eye when a bunch of Instagram handles with names such as ‘Hidden Gems’ and ‘Secret Getaways’ and hashtags like ‘Would you believe this is not Europe?’ and ‘Cheap Stays with Mesmerizing Views’ stumbled upon this sleeping beauty. It didn’t take long for her to become the cynosure of all eyes.
People descended from all over the country to lay their eyes upon this winsome beauty and were riveted by her. Each visitor claimed to be her greatest admirer and couldn’t stop gushing over her unique charms. For some, it was her delicate natural beauty that won their hearts, while others could never tire of watching the graceful dance of her waters. Thousands were won over by the simplicity of her people, while many were relieved to have finally escaped the people in their own lives and found solace in her.
The outpour of love and attention had a mystical effect on her. She had never known such love existed in this world, and, therefore, had neither imagined nor desired it for herself. But once she got a taste of it, she realized she relished it and would never be able to live without it again. With every new lover she acquired, she found her appetite growing and wanted more. She discovered that she wasn’t sleepy or little anymore. Instead, she had finally woken up and found herself in the midst of a beautiful dream.
Syahi remembered those days well. She was born here and came of age as her hometown transformed itself. Syahi was one of those youngsters who loved this revamped avatar of their home and wanted to preserve it for themselves.
Twenty-five years later, Syahi could not even recognise her hometown anymore.
She had been at this tiny railway station for over three hours now, and kept trying to match the memories of her home with the desolate ravaged town that stood before her.
She hadn’t expected it to remain unchanged over the years, waiting for her return. Syahi wasn’t naïve or sentimental like that; but she was steadfast in her belief that her town would only evolve and grow.
This town, however, was far removed from even her wildest dreams. It did not look like the big modern city that she had been expecting or the popular holiday destination she remembered it to be. But what truly shattered her was the realization that it was not even the sleepy little town she had known it to be. Her home, the popular beauty that had charmed the hearts of millions, was now a godforsaken place.
Sitting on an uncomfortable wooden bench in the station, Syahi kept looking for her childhood playmate, that mighty River of Yore, but couldn’t catch even a glimpse of it. At first, she was convinced that she had de-boarded the train at the wrong station. After realizing that that was not the case, she asked the station master and the handful of passengers around to guide her. Syahi reasoned that as her town expanded, it went farther away from the railway tracks. Or perhaps, new train routes were now operational, and she found herself in this unfamiliar location. After all, any number of changes were possible in the span of twenty-five years, but how could a whole town disappear?
How could her home disappear from the face of the Earth?
Rivers are not known to vanish into thin air.
How can a town cease to exist on a map?
What does home feel like if you haven’t set foot in it in twenty-five years?
What does home look like after a quarter century?
Does one even have a home after all these years?
Does Syahi still have a home?
Does Syahi deserve to have her home?
Of course, she does! Isn’t she a daughter of this infamous town?
Syahi was desperate for any connection from her past. Even though she had been away for two and a half decades now, she hadn’t ever felt uprooted or alone before. Until this afternoon, she hadn’t known what it truly meant to not belong, and how it felt to be homeless.
Her body refused to listen to her. She found herself stuck to the bench, her feet refusing to budge. How could she move ahead in this world if she didn’t have a home to return to? How does one step forward in an abyss? She was sinking, flailing, struggling to come up for breath. She needed a miracle, but she was willing to accept a mirage.
What does one do when time comes to a standstill?
What do you do when your past haunts you, and the future holds no space for you?
You cling to the present with all your strength and determination. Syahi stopped counting the years and the memories. Instead, she started counting the trains that passed by. She had seen thirteen trains rush past her since she had stepped on the platform. Only three had stopped so far, and not for more than two minutes. This was a distant cry from the time Syahi’s sleepy little town was the city-dwellers’ well-kept secret. In those days, at least seven or eight trains stopped here for a few minutes every day. The trains brought the vacationers from the city, and took the employment-seekers from the town in return.
The fourteenth train pulled into the station and dropped a single passenger before rushing off to greener pastures. Syahi could not see the young girl’s face, but she overheard snippets of her conversation on the phone. She was waiting for her friends to pick her up from the station and proceed towards the forgotten town.
The stranger was on her way to Syahi’s home!
Not only was she living proof that Syahi still had a home, she also knew where it stood now. This realization proved to be an elixir, and she found herself rushing towards the stranger who was going to guide her home.
But before she could speak, the younger woman on the phone did. She had seen Syahi rush towards her, and after a detailed glance over her clothes, had blurted: “Aunty, are you from the town by the riverbank? Your expression seems to suggest so, although I am yet to meet anyone from there. Anyway, you definitely look like the people who used to live here.”
A faint smile appeared on Syahi’s face when she stopped mid-way. What did this girl mean? “People who USED to live here?” she repeated. Where did those people live now? Why had they left their hometown? And if no one lived here anymore, then why was this stranger so interested in visiting a ghost town?
Syahi had come back after so many years in search of answers. But, upon her return, it was instead a barrage of questions that assailed her.
“I grew up here but moved out a few decades back. It is my first visit since then, but I can’t recognize my town anymore.”
“Oh! I am sorry for your loss. This town went underwater a few years back. No one survived, and nothing from back then lives on here.”
Angkasa placed her hand on the woman’s shoulder, comforting her, giving her time to accept the news.
She continued, “I am a climatologist and have come with my team to research on the conditions here. Would you like to come along? I know Resul would be excited to meet you. Actually, all of us would be. Even though we have been working on this project for a while now, our attempts to meet people who hailed from this region have all drawn a blank. Sohrab keeps insisting that our work will remain incomplete without the input of those who lived here.”
At the time of her departure, Syahi had decided to never come back. She was too angry and hurt to consider otherwise. Twenty-five years later, she was coming to realize that it was, in fact, her motherland that had turned her back on her.
She was an orphan and truly alone in this world.
Sohrab and the crew were getting impatient waiting for Angkasa to arrive. They had a long day of work ahead and the temperature was not making it easier to wait.
“How much time does it take to walk out of the station?”
“This is such a small station. I don’t think it is even possible to lose your way here.”
“Hey, look! She is walking out now. But who is that with her?”
Walking behind Angkasa was a middle-aged lady in a white silk saree with a red border. She wore no jewelry, but a large red hibiscus flower was planted on her hair, right at the back of her ear. Their friend was holding her hand and gently guiding her towards them. The woman looked dazed and upset and, as she came closer, they noticed that beneath those kohl-rimmed eyes, tears were welling up. She was not wearing any make-up, not even a hint of a lipstick. Only a tiny red bindi dotted her forehead.
“Hang on, doesn’t she look like a member of the local community that used to live here?”
“Yeah, and those women used to wear fresh flowers in their hair too.”
All their anger and frustration dissipated into thin air as they realized that Angkasa had finally found someone who could play an instrumental role in their research.
“Hey folks! Syahi Aunty used to live here twenty-five years back. She will be joining us on this tour.” Then Angkasa motioned towards her team. “Aunty, these are my team members. That’s Resul, the guy I was telling you about. He is a reputed anthropologist. Luke, here, is an ethnographer. Azadeh is a feminist researcher and has worked extensively on women’s history. The rest of the team is still on their way, but this is the captain of the ship, Sohrab. He is an archaeologist and documentary film-maker. He is the one who has brought this whole team together. And this is his dream project, and a long-gestating one at that!”
“Hello, please call me Syahi.”
“Hi, Syahi! We are so happy that you will be accompanying us. I am sure you will enrich our understanding of this town and its culture,” said Sohrab.
“I will try to help you, but as Angkasa said I have returned after decades. And it looks like nothing I knew it to be.”
“Seriously, it baffles me that this place used to be on everyone’s list of favorite cities till just a few years back, but now nobody even remembers it or mourns its loss.”
“But how can people forget so quickly? Twenty-five years is not that long a period of time. And when I left town, it was such a popular tourist destination. Even if tragedy struck ten or fifteen years back, it is still a recent phenomenon. How is it possible for the city-dwellers who proclaimed such deep love for this beautiful town of mine to forget it so easily and move on?”
Luke could not hold back any longer. “Ten or fifteen years back! What are you talking about, Syahi? This is not ancient history. The town disappeared only three years back – although one can argue that tragedy struck much before that. But you know how public memory works and how short-lived it is. Perhaps that is our real tragedy.”
Syahi was too stunned to react. The youngsters had no words of comfort to offer her. What could those with a home say to one rendered homeless when they had turned a blind eye to everything that went on earlier?
They stood in silence and shame while Syahi remembered and sobbed.
“This was our picnic spot,” Syahi informed the team. “The river used to flow here and as kids we used to dip our toes in its cold waters and play hide-and-seek behind the giant lush green trees that surrounded us. It is surreal to talk to you about this, Sohrab, when neither the river nor the trees survive. You will not believe me, but even though I know we are standing on barren land right now with not a drop of water or a trace of greenery in sight, I don’t have to dig deep in my memories to remember it as it was. The past feels more real to me than this.” Syahi had to rely on her hands and indicate the nothingness around her because she could not dredge up the words to explain the strange sight.
“I have always been amazed at this chasm between public memory and individual memory. Public memory seems like a misnomer given that it barely remembers. In fact, it has to be regenerated again and again and my attempt with this documentary is to do the same. On the other hand, individual memory never falters. In fact, it would probably be easier for us to move on and live if we could forget some of our most unpleasant memories, but all our attempts in that direction fail every single time,” replied Sohrab.
Azadeh gave a weak smile at that, and fell into step with Syahi. “Sohrab is right, you know. But in this case, we are benefiting from your memories, Syahi, and we are so grateful for it even though I can guess that recounting those days must be painful for you. We have been coming to this spot daily for so many weeks now, but the barrenness always overwhelms us. Your stories are allowing us to imagine what this place must have looked like in its heydays. And I have to say, it is a pretty sight.”
“The river would turn here and enter the agricultural lands. Between the river and the monsoon, our lands were always well-irrigated. Did you know that our local produce was introduced as star ingredients in gourmet restaurants? In fact, I remember that after our town started getting a record number of visitors, many chefs from the big cities would come down and hold pop-up dinner parties for the tourists. They championed the local produce at these dinners,” Syahi continued with renewed pride. “I think they even called these the ‘farm-to-table’ and ‘seasonal meal’ concepts…you know, after it became popular most commentators said that ours was a tourism economy. We could not have survived without it. But I always thought we would not survive without the playmate of my childhood, the mighty river. In fact, I still believe that it was the love for the river that drew the city-dwellers here, and then my town won them over with her charms. Honestly, everything was going so well. I still don’t understand what led to this disaster.”
Luke asked in a soft voice, “Why? As always, the culprit is human greed. Like you said, everything was going well, and we wanted more and more and more. So, no one paid heed to the signs all around us. The agricultural lands were bought at throwaway prices, and huge malls were constructed there. The route of the river was diverted so that towering residential complexes could be built on the riverbed. Initially, everyone was happy about it. It seemed like the town was coming into its own and investments were flowing in. But after some time, people began to realize that the demand and supply did not match. Worse, environmental clearances were given without proper scrutiny and natural disasters became frequent occurrences. Even then, we turned a blind eye thinking these were minor incidents.”
Resul spoke up, “Don’t forget that these were all minor incidents for the well-off residents of the high-rise apartments. Each of these disasters was a calamity in its own right for the underprivileged.”
“Yes, and when the end came, it took away these underprivileged people with it. Those who survived became climate refugees. The rich had already abandoned this town by then. The government and industry had banded together to build real estate, but no one took on the initiative of building public infrastructure.”
“That’s just one part of the story, Syahi. Deep animosity had crept in among the people who lived here by then. Your memories may be different but the ‘us and them’ narrative defined the townsmen at the end. And there wasn’t even a proper classification or category to explain these differences. It seemed like every morning people discovered a new ‘other’ who was living among them but was not one of them. And then they banded together to either kill or drive out these ‘aliens’ from their homeland.”
“Angkasa,” interrupted Syahi, “I think I might know something about that. I too was driven away by my own people.”
“What? Why?”
“That’s a story for another day. Suffice to say that for all their embrace of modernity, the people of my land were not ready for a woman who dared to love women, and I wasn’t ready to give up on my love and desires…you should leave now. I can sense another tragedy well on its way. Go and stop it or at least, raise your voice and try to,” she said.
“Me? I will never leave my town ever again. You will find me whenever you return to this ghost town, guarding its memories and haunting the conscience of all those who let their beloved beauty down.”