Falesia

Joan Mazza

*noun. The disquieting awareness that someone’s importance to you and your importance to them may not necessarily match.

From “The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows” by John Koenig.

Pronounced “fuh-lee’-zhuh”

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Source of my discontent with friends

and lovers I came to revere, admire,

treasure more than any loved

asset or possession,

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only to discover I was no more

than a blurry acquaintance, passing

fling, detour on their journey to

imagined stardom, fame, and wealth,

not even a respected colleague, not

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even a fellow defenseless human

on this spinning marble. Do you

remember I wore short skirts for you?

I noted

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you loved your foods hot and moist,

your drinks in chilled glasses

with crushed ice, cloth napkins, pepper

grinder near. What did you know

of my quirks and preferences

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beyond that one kink we shared

twice? How easily you let me go.

And yes, there was one woman I

never met, who sent me six emails

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a day, photos of her dogs, requests

to read her poems, stories, unsent letters

to her mother, brother. I blocked her

without explanation. She was dazzled,

but I left her baffled, maybe hurt.