I’m dancing more
I’m dancing more than I ever danced.
More than I danced at my cousin’s wedding,
more than I danced on my 21st Birthday
(which was a 70’s roller disco)
I drink Milk Stout beer
at the Zula Bar
and dance with girls I won’t take home.
I haven’t slept in weeks,
but I’m still doing the shuffle with the 3am crowd.
It doesn’t matter how much I miss my sister
even though we’ve never danced in the same room.
Doesn’t matter that my dad won’t be alive by the time
I understand him.
Doesn’t matter that I might be talking to Grandma’s gravestone
by the time I’m home.
Doesn’t matter that my entire family think I’m strange
and I think they are normal.
Doesn’t matter that I should have told Sophie the truth
that I didn’t want another person in my life that I could lose
or let down.
Doesn’t matter that it’s 4am now
and behind me a girl is yelling
This music is so good it hurts!
and I’m dancing, dancing
like dancing is a kind of pain
and all I can do is
~ Raymond Antrobus
Raymond Antrobus is a poet and photographer, born and bred in Hackney. He is co-curator of Chill Pill and Keats House Forum. He has performed alongside authors and poets such as Margret Atwood, Michael Horovitz, Lemn Sissay, Benjamin Zephaniah and Kwame Dawes. Raymond appeared on series 5 of BBC Radio 4’s Bespoken Word. He has been performing poetry since 2007 and is the International Farrago Slam champion 2008, Anti-Slam Champion 2010, and Canterbury Word Slam Champ 2012. Raymond is currently piloting Europe’s first MA in Spoken Word Education, an extension of the Teacher / Writer Programme at Goldsmith’s University in London. His first pamphlet of poems can be purchased from Burning Eye Books.